Curious about what happens in one of our End-Of-Life Doula Training courses? Here’s what my friend, Bobbi Bryant, creator of Inspired Endings and the End-of-Life Doula Training Program wrote about this event.
Early morning on March 1, 2019, a group of women gathered at the Life and Death Wellness Center in Kapa’au, HI. There was an air of excitement and eagerness permeating the room. There was joy and laughter and anticipation of what was to come.
It was the first day of a three-day End-of-Life Doula training which I co-facilitated with Dr. Charfen and Jane Johnson, Death Midwife and co-founder of Crossings: Caring For Our Own at Death.
At this moment, many of you are wondering “what is an end-of-life doula?” An end-of-life doula provides non-medical, holistic support, education, and guidance as well as emotional, spiritual, and practical care for the dying and their caregivers.
This group of women were all hungry to learn more about how to be with the dying and how to be with dying. They came from varied backgrounds: two nurses, a hospital social worker, massage therapists, a nurse’s aid, energy workers, artists, a death doula, and a death midwife… women who are already healers in the world.
The facilitators offered their experience and knowledge about end of life care, everything from learning how to fill out advanced directives and a living will, to the honoring ritual of washing the dead body of a beloved. In between, Dr. Charfen taught about the trajectory of the most common life-ending disease processes, and what comfort care doulas can offer to help alleviate pain throughout the progression of each disease. Dr. Charfen also provided education on life support treatment measures, as well as on medical cannabis for pain, and Medical Aid in Dying.
These soon-to-be end-of-life doulas participated in exercises in deep listening, grief and loss, and empathetic attunement. They learned practical hands-on care at the bedside, such as repositioning a patient and what different medical equipment looks like. They discussed creating care plans, spiritual and cultural values, working as part of a care team such as hospice, options for disposition of the body as well as home funerals, and even decorated a biodegradable coffin.
End-of-life doulas are encouraging public conversation about death and mortality. If people can get their heads wrapped around that, then they can start to make plans. We make plans when there is going to be a birth… why should we not make plans for death, the other end of the life cycle? When plans are not in place, people can end up having a poor quality of life at the end, and put a lot of pressure on loved ones to make difficult decisions, at a time of great stress and emotional turmoil
North Kohala has a growing population of end-of-life doulas, who are supporting some of their dying community members and their loved ones. They are creating a web of care in the community in which they live.
More end-of-life doulas are needed throughout our island(s) and the nation. If you are interested in supporting a family member, friends, and your community, or just want to know more about life and death wellness, look out for the next end-of-life doula training in Kapa’au in late 2019.
