I got an email today from the American Brain Tumor Association to remind me that this month is Brain Tumor awareness month. I thought this was quite fitting as my dear friend Cathy left this earth to become an angel one year ago during the month of May after a Glioblastoma took her beautiful life. I was planning to post this at some point on facebook to remind others. Cathy decided today to make sure that I did so and boy did she get my attention.
You see today brought on a lot of sick patients in the ER but the theme for too many of my patients would be “dying of cancer.” Soon after I viewed the ABTA email, I walked into a patient’s room that was doubled over in severe abdominal pain. I knew something was wrong as soon as I walked through the door. And I knew that he was a sweet, dear man as soon as I looked into his eyes. His wife quickly told me that he had lung cancer and was currently getting radiation for the metastasis to the brain that had just been diagnosed 2 weeks prior. She hoped that this was just constipation but I knew otherwise.
After I listened to his story I let him know that this month was brain tumor awareness month and just held his hand a bit. I could see how strong he was and how well he was handling this terminal diagnosis he had. I saw that same strength and calmness Cathy had carried with her through her battle. And I knew I was the right doctor to take care of this man. I’m pretty sure Cathy put us together for several reasons that would benefit us both.
His very seasoned nurse basically asked me what the fuss was all about when I started barking orders to get blood and get this guy to CT, NOW! I thought about making a smart-ass comment but this nurse had once saved me from almost killing a patient so I did my best to explain. Yes, I am a good doctor and yes I have been doing this for a while but my gut or rather Cathy told me this guy was sick. Deathly ill.
And the CT was worse than I thought, just like with Cathy. I expected to find something bad, and of course, I did. I did not expect to find new metastasis to his small intestines that were now not only causing him to hemorrhage to death but had eaten a hole through his intestines that would require emergent surgery if he wanted to survive.
And so I entered his room with his family surrounding him and gave them all this shocking news. He took it so calmly. I fought back tears a few times as I explained in detail the seriousness of what was happening to him. He just looked at me so peacefully. He told me thank you. Thank you for taking such good care of him. Thank you for being such a good doctor and so full of knowledge. Thank you for caring.
WTF is all I could think until I was in my car driving home and began to cry uncontrollably. He was grateful and so was I. I was so thankful to have known such an amazing woman named Cathy. She made me such a better doctor and human being. My experience with her brain cancer has carried through on every patient I have ever had the pleasure of treating ever since, especially those that are dying or that have cancer. I cried all the way home. I cried because I missed my friend. I cried because I knew she was in that room with me helping this patient and his family. I cried because I was so grateful to her and God for these amazing experiences and beautiful people that I get to help and who help me. I cried because I thought of all those that who have battled brain cancer or are currently doing so and the family and friends that are right along with them. I cried because I am happy for this life and all the experiences it brings. Please remember this month is brain tumor awareness month.
